Foreword:
Growingup,Ialwaysfelttheweightofexpectationsuponmyshoulders.FromthemomentIwasborn,myparentsandfamilyhadhighhopesforme-tobesuccessful,toachievegreatthings,tomakethemproud.AndasIgrewolder,thoseexpectationsonlygrewheavierandmoredemanding.ItseemedlikeeveryonearoundmehadanideaofwhatIshoulddowithmylife,whatpathIshouldtake,whatcareerIshouldpursue.Butamidstalltheseexpectations,Ioftenfoundmyselffeelinglostanduncertain,unsureofwhatItrulywantedformyself.Thisisastoryaboutthestruggletoliveuptothehopesofothers,andthetollitcantakeonaperson.
1.Iwasbornintoafamilyofhighachievers-myparentswerebothsuccessfulbusinesspeople,andmyolderbrotherhadjustbeenacceptedintoaprestigiousuniversity.Fromthestart,therewasanunspokenexpectationthatItoowouldexcelinlife.
2.Asachild,Iwasconstantlyremindedofthisexpectation-myparentswouldpraisemewhenIdidwellinschooloraccomplishedsomethingimpressive,butwouldseemdisappointedorfrustratedwhenIfellshortoftheirstandards.
3.Inelementaryschool,Irememberfeelingthepressuretoperformacademically-myparentswouldcomparemetomybrotherandhisaccomplishments,andIwouldfeellikeIhadtomeasureuptohisachievements.
4.ThispressureonlyintensifiedasIenteredmiddleschoolandhighschool-suddenly,itwasn'tjustaboutgettinggoodgrades,butaboutextracurricularactivities,leadershiproles,andcommunityservice.
5.Ifoundmyselfconstantlyjugglingapackedscheduleofclasses,homework,sports,clubs,andvolunteerwork-allinanefforttomeettheexpectationsofthosearoundme.
6.Butdespiteallmyefforts,IstillfeltlikeIwasfallingshort-therewerealwaysotherstudentswhoseemedtobedoingmore,achievingmore,makingabiggerimpact.
7.AndthemoreIcomparedmyselftoothers,themoreIfeltlikeafailure-likeIwasn'tlivinguptomypotential,ortothehopesofthosewhocaredaboutme.
8.Itwasn'tjustmyfamilyandfriendswhohadexpectationsforme-itwasalsosocietyasawhole.EverywhereIlooked,thereweremessagestellingmewhatsuccessshouldlooklike-high-payingjobs,impressivetitles,fancycars,bighouses.
9.IstartedtofeellikeIhadtoliveuptothesestandardsaswell,eveniftheydidn'talignwithmyownvaluesordesires.
10.Thepressuretomeettheseexpectationswasoverwhelmingattimes-itfeltlikeaconstantweightonmyshoulders,aburdenthatIcouldn'tescape.
11.Irememberfeelingenviousofpeoplewhoseemedtohaveitallfiguredout-whoknewexactlywhattheywantedtodowiththeirlives,andweremakingsteadyprogresstowardstheirgoals.
12.Meanwhile,IwasstrugglingtoevenfigureoutwhatIwantedformyself-whatmademehappy,whatgavememeaningandpurpose.
13.Itwasn'tuntilIwentawaytocollegethatIstartedtogainsomeclarityaboutmyownaspirations-awayfromtheexpectationsofmyfamilyandcommunity,Iwasabletoexploremyowninterestsandpassions.
14.Buteventhen,thepressuretosucceedandmakesomethingofmyselfneverfullywentaway.Itwasstillthere,lurkinginthebackofmymind,remindingmeofallthehopesanddreamsthathadbeenplaceduponme.
15.Andso,evenasIpursuedmyownpathandfollowedmyownpassions,IstillfeltlikeIwascarryingtheweightofothers'expectations.
16.Itwasn'tuntilIgraduatedandstartedworkingthatIbegantotrulyunderstandthetollthatallthispressurehadtakenonme.
17.Iwasexhausted,burntout,andconstantlyanxious-alwaysworriedthatIwasn'tdoingenough,achievingenough,livinguptothestandardssetforme.
18.ItwasthenthatIrealizedthatIcouldn'tkeeplivingmylifeforotherpeople'sexpectations-thatifIwantedtobetrulyhappyandfulfilled,Ineededtodefinesuccessonmyownterms.
19.Itwasn'teasytoletgoofthoseexpectations,butwithtimeandeffort,Istartedtochipawayatthem-toquestionthem,tochallengethem,andtocreatemyownvisionforwhatasuccessfullifemightlooklike.
20.Andslowlybutsurely,Ibegantofeellighter,freer,moreateasewithmyselfandmychoices.
21.It'sstillajourney,ofcourse-therearestillmomentswhenIfeeltheweightofthoseexpectationspressingdownonme.
22.ButIknownowthatIdon'thavetocarrythatburdenalone-thatIcanreachoutforhelpandsupportfromthosewhotrulycareaboutme,andthattogether,wecanfindawaytoliveuptoourownhopesanddreams.
